he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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