just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
