i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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