the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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