I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
