When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Randomize
