Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize