I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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