Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
We left the knife in your bed.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Randomize
