He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
