my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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