Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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