He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
