Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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