Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
never play flip cup with pint glasses
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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