why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
