will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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