your room smells of hookers.
And success
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
