His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
