if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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