Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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