My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Randomize
