nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
