Porn is love you can see.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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