two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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