i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize