Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
