found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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