My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize