the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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