Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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