i jhust puked up my retainher.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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