nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
