please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
