Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Randomize