well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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