i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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