You're completely useless in the revolution.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
