think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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