You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Randomize
