4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Enjoy the penises
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
