This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
