I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Your cock deserves a montage
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
