No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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