Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
