My liver just broke up with me...
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
