i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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