i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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