maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
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