I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
