I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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