CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
love makes seman taste better
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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