My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
