my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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