Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
