youre lurking in front of me
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.