so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
is wine microwaveable?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.