Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?

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  (615): Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN? http://tfl.nu/nemo
  Replies (9) Good night (3158) Bad night (1094)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass

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  (406): Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass http://tfl.nu/uf2h
  Replies (20) Good night (2263) Bad night (1360)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on

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  (619): He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on http://tfl.nu/aooo
  Replies (37) Good night (1127) Bad night (14731)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.

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  (609): friends don't let friends hook up with gingers. http://tfl.nu/lykv
  Replies (174) Good night (6360) Bad night (3177)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook

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  (508): i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook http://tfl.nu/ft2u
  Replies (36) Good night (10377) Bad night (939)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.

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  (917): we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer. http://tfl.nu/2zy4
  Replies (60) Good night (10335) Bad night (1317)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.

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  (360): He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one. http://tfl.nu/lrzn
  Replies (9) Good night (7093) Bad night (1081)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...

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  (217): he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon... http://tfl.nu/u7gi
  Replies (3) Good night (1558) Bad night (776)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass

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  (845): I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass http://tfl.nu/26l8
  Replies (8) Good night (1919) Bad night (671)
• Favorite

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.

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  (225): Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper. http://tfl.nu/6qsz
  Replies (10) Good night (2124) Bad night (669)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.

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  (732): you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic. http://tfl.nu/b9sf
  Replies (5) Good night (2095) Bad night (710)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.

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  (443): You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are. http://tfl.nu/njd0
  Replies (5) Good night (1437) Bad night (527)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams

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  (703): I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams http://tfl.nu/mq8g
  Replies (8) Good night (941) Bad night (585)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level

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  (508): New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level http://tfl.nu/zu28
  Replies (5) Good night (396) Bad night (677)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.

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  (425): I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep. http://tfl.nu/3psv
  Replies (0) Good night (407) Bad night (331)

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