god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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