I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!