Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.

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(408): View more from California

Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it

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(919): View more from North Carolina

They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible

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(770): View more from Georgia

I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(781): View more from Massachusetts

I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.

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(206): View more from Washington

Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage

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(778): View more from British Columbia

I woke up with glitter in my wounds.

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(408): View more from California

And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet

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(503): View more from Oregon

on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella

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