I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
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he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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