VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
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I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
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PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella