Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
