drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
