using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
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I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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