My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
