i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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