I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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