Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
